Sophie's Baptism

Sophie, one of my best friends, got baptized today. Because we are a church plant renting space and do not have a baptismal, she got immersed in a decent-sized kid's swimming pool out in the side yard after church this morning. It was really special to be there to hear her testimony and see her get baptized. We have been friends ever since October 2011, and even though it does not seem as long as four years, we have spent innumerable hours together and know each other deeply. Baptism, like other life milestones, brings a stream of ordinary events into focus, causing one to note the way individuals grow and change over time. I considered today how much Sophie and I have matured during and because of our relationship to each other.

In the testimony she shared before her baptism, she said, "Being a follower of Christ means that every area of my life is not my own because I have been made new – given a new identity in Jesus. I know now and am reminded increasingly that my record which was once marked by my rebellion has been stained with another color – red: the blood spilled on my behalf by the only one who could change my standing before the Father. I know that when Yaweh looks at me he doesn’t see my inability to live up to his standards on my own, but that he sees Jesus’s righteousness that has now become mine."

     One of the main ways I have grown is in understanding that aspect of the gospel. I used to have a justice-minded sense that I was supposed to suffer for being sinful, because even though I knew that Christ died on my behalf and that God forgave me of my sins, I was not going to pretend that my actions did not matter, and in all my guilt over them, I could not feel forgiven. Now I understand that our sins are fully paid for in Christ, and that I have received His righteousness in exchange. God sees me differently not only in the context of ultimate judgment, but on an everyday basis. He views me neither through my sins or my good works, but through the righteousness of Christ which was given to me through the cross and resurrection. My sins are gone, and I don't have to live with the constant fear of not being good enough. 

While I was learning how to apply this truth to my life, I was also in the midst of developing my friendship with Sophie, figuring out how to get along in a deep relationship with someone quite different than I was. I knew how to manage long-distance friendships, but Sophie was the first local person with whom I developed a deep relationship, and since close proximity brought up irritants that might otherwise never have surfaced, it was very different, and I had to learn how to relate rightly when one of us would disappoint, annoy, or offend the other. My natural state was to carry around guilt for being annoyed or annoying, but my increasing understanding of the gospel matured me slowly out of this.

I learned that because I have received grace, forgiveness, and acceptance in Christ, I can extend that to others, and I can learn how to accept it from them. I don't have to go around feeling disgusted with myself all the time, and nor do I have to somehow atone for wrongdoing. I can accept grace and love not because I think I deserve them, but because I don't have to deserve someone's love. God and loved ones can place affection on me not because I have earned their favor, but because they choose to love me, and unlike with my original understanding of the gospel, my response is regulated not by obligation or gratitude, but by my own love, which is made free in the knowledge that I am accepted no matter what, and don't have to measure up in order to be wanted. 

My friendship with Sophie is one of the greatest things that has happened to me in life, and through both the glorious and the difficult, God has used her as a means of grace, both revealing my sin and showing me a human illustration of His love. Knowing Sophie has made me a better, kinder, more godly person, and I am so grateful that we have each other.