Before I begin this satirical post, I want to give a very important disclaimer: I am not making fun of modest dress. I'm taking ideas to an extreme and showing how badly things end when your arguments for modesty are faulty. I believe it is right to dress in a way that is respectful of yourself and others, but many arguments for that same idea are really respectful of no one.
The last thing I am trying to do is mock virtue, belittle men, or make fun of women who are trying to do the right thing, so please do not take it that way -- or think that I am discounting every idea expressed here. Some of it is completely true; I'm just trying to parody the general approach of a stereotypical Christian blog post on this topic.
Hey, girls! I'm here today to patronize you as I condescendingly share the great wealth of wisdom that I have gained in my lifetime. The topic we're going to talk about today is modesty. Modesty is a big, scary word that a lot of people associate with burlap sacks, and I'm here to assure you that you can still be fashionable even while you seek to attain this virtue. Modesty is very, very important, and although a lot of you have negative associations with the word and think that this concept is unnecessarily restrictive, I'm here to teach you otherwise, since the arbitrary opinion I have gained from reading similar blog posts is clearly the objective truth in a world of lies about femininity, modesty, and self-worth.
The last thing I am trying to do is mock virtue, belittle men, or make fun of women who are trying to do the right thing, so please do not take it that way -- or think that I am discounting every idea expressed here. Some of it is completely true; I'm just trying to parody the general approach of a stereotypical Christian blog post on this topic.
Hey, girls! I'm here today to patronize you as I condescendingly share the great wealth of wisdom that I have gained in my lifetime. The topic we're going to talk about today is modesty. Modesty is a big, scary word that a lot of people associate with burlap sacks, and I'm here to assure you that you can still be fashionable even while you seek to attain this virtue. Modesty is very, very important, and although a lot of you have negative associations with the word and think that this concept is unnecessarily restrictive, I'm here to teach you otherwise, since the arbitrary opinion I have gained from reading similar blog posts is clearly the objective truth in a world of lies about femininity, modesty, and self-worth.
In our culture today, people just don't understand the importance of modesty. Girls walk around in clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination, believing that their worth is dependent on their beauty and that they can get the attention and affirmation they need by showing a lot of skin. This just breaks my heart. Then, on the other hand, there are the girls who derive their sense of self-worth from legalistic standards; they think that as long as they dress conservatively, they will please God and be better than other girls. This breaks my heart too.
People get all caught up with rules about modesty, but the Bible never tells us what clothes are okay or not okay to wear. When we fixate on manmade ideas about what is or isn't modest, we lose sight of the real issue. Because... wait for it... modesty is a heart issue. (Since you definitely haven't heard this completely revolutionary idea before, I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.)
Modesty is not about rules. It's not about how long your shorts are. It's about your heart. You should dress in a respectful way not because you are ashamed of your body or think that dressing modestly will make you better than other people, but because you want to honor God and know that dressing in a provocative way does not glorify Him. Instead of dressing with the goal of getting attention, you should make your wardrobe decisions based on your identity as a child of God. You have to make a personal decision for what this will mean in your life. Because the Bible doesn't tell us how to dress, this is a matter of conscience, and you need to search your heart, pray, and talk to your parents about what modesty standards will mean for your family. (Isn't it great that I can cop out here and not give you practical advice, since I don't really know what I'm talking about anyway?)
The next most important reason to dress modestly is out of concern for your brothers in Christ. God made guys to be visual, and the struggle with lust is something that every guy has to deal with. We should not make it harder on them than is necessary, and even though you will rarely hear anyone urging young men to control their eyes, we expect every girl in every youth group to bend over backwards in order to not be distracting in any way. This totally makes sense, so don't question it. Even if it's unintentional, whenever you dress in a way that gets attention, you are partially responsible for what happens as a result. Yes, God holds guys accountable for what they do, but if you're the one who makes it happen by wearing something distracting, you're also sinning. Don't take this risk. But at the same time, don't make decisions out of fear. You should have confidence as a beautiful daughter of God, and should never feel ashamed of your body!
No one can tell you how to dress, but you need to be aware that God will hold you responsible for causing your brothers to stumble. It's partly your fault whenever anyone so much as glances at you, so you should make it your goal in life to control everyone else by your own behavior and make sure they are as righteous as possible. By dressing modestly, you can't actually prevent any guy from looking at you lustfully, but you won't be purposefully enticing them, so that's good. As long as you dress modestly, it's okay for you to be completely confused about where personal responsibility begins and ends for both parties.
Just because you're free to make your own decisions does not mean that you can wear immodest clothes without affecting others. When you dress provocatively because you want to be cute, just remember that the guys looking at you will be other girls' husbands someday. Let that guilt wash over you as you go change out of your leggings and put on some real clothes.
Girls object, "I should be able to dress for myself! Just because some guys can't control themselves doesn't mean I should have to give up wearing clothes that make me feel cute!"
This feeling is understandable, but it's selfish. We shouldn't dress for ourselves, we should dress to honor God and to Keep Our Brothers From Stumbling. This kind of selflessness honors God and others, and this is what modesty is all about. We should be careful to consider other people's needs before our own. No matter how modestly you dress, guys may still look at you, and you can't control that, but you should still make all of your wardrobe decisions out of blind, confused consideration for what guys may nor may not experience when you wear particular clothing items. What is most important is not living life in a graceful, confident, God-honoring way, but agonizing over whether or not particular outfits may attract male attention.
Still, I reiterate that we shouldn't make our decisions out of fear. Instead of being anxious, we should be compassionate. Guys have to live in a sex-saturated world, and it's so hard for them to deal with all the temptations out there. We should try to make it easier for them and not distract them even more. Girls think that they should be allowed to wear whatever they want, and that guys just have to deal with it, but they have no idea how hard it is, and since you can't understand someone's sin struggle until you have walked in their shoes, the obvious response is for you to arrange your entire life around trying to make their ambiguous, uncertain circumstances less difficult. The best way to respect your brothers in Christ is to treat them like helpless idiots who cannot control their brain or eyes. Just know that every single one of them has no capacity for self-control, agonize about your clothing in response to this assumption, and thereby glorify God with your beautiful modesty!
People get all caught up with rules about modesty, but the Bible never tells us what clothes are okay or not okay to wear. When we fixate on manmade ideas about what is or isn't modest, we lose sight of the real issue. Because... wait for it... modesty is a heart issue. (Since you definitely haven't heard this completely revolutionary idea before, I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.)
Modesty is not about rules. It's not about how long your shorts are. It's about your heart. You should dress in a respectful way not because you are ashamed of your body or think that dressing modestly will make you better than other people, but because you want to honor God and know that dressing in a provocative way does not glorify Him. Instead of dressing with the goal of getting attention, you should make your wardrobe decisions based on your identity as a child of God. You have to make a personal decision for what this will mean in your life. Because the Bible doesn't tell us how to dress, this is a matter of conscience, and you need to search your heart, pray, and talk to your parents about what modesty standards will mean for your family. (Isn't it great that I can cop out here and not give you practical advice, since I don't really know what I'm talking about anyway?)
The next most important reason to dress modestly is out of concern for your brothers in Christ. God made guys to be visual, and the struggle with lust is something that every guy has to deal with. We should not make it harder on them than is necessary, and even though you will rarely hear anyone urging young men to control their eyes, we expect every girl in every youth group to bend over backwards in order to not be distracting in any way. This totally makes sense, so don't question it. Even if it's unintentional, whenever you dress in a way that gets attention, you are partially responsible for what happens as a result. Yes, God holds guys accountable for what they do, but if you're the one who makes it happen by wearing something distracting, you're also sinning. Don't take this risk. But at the same time, don't make decisions out of fear. You should have confidence as a beautiful daughter of God, and should never feel ashamed of your body!
No one can tell you how to dress, but you need to be aware that God will hold you responsible for causing your brothers to stumble. It's partly your fault whenever anyone so much as glances at you, so you should make it your goal in life to control everyone else by your own behavior and make sure they are as righteous as possible. By dressing modestly, you can't actually prevent any guy from looking at you lustfully, but you won't be purposefully enticing them, so that's good. As long as you dress modestly, it's okay for you to be completely confused about where personal responsibility begins and ends for both parties.
Just because you're free to make your own decisions does not mean that you can wear immodest clothes without affecting others. When you dress provocatively because you want to be cute, just remember that the guys looking at you will be other girls' husbands someday. Let that guilt wash over you as you go change out of your leggings and put on some real clothes.
Girls object, "I should be able to dress for myself! Just because some guys can't control themselves doesn't mean I should have to give up wearing clothes that make me feel cute!"
This feeling is understandable, but it's selfish. We shouldn't dress for ourselves, we should dress to honor God and to Keep Our Brothers From Stumbling. This kind of selflessness honors God and others, and this is what modesty is all about. We should be careful to consider other people's needs before our own. No matter how modestly you dress, guys may still look at you, and you can't control that, but you should still make all of your wardrobe decisions out of blind, confused consideration for what guys may nor may not experience when you wear particular clothing items. What is most important is not living life in a graceful, confident, God-honoring way, but agonizing over whether or not particular outfits may attract male attention.
Still, I reiterate that we shouldn't make our decisions out of fear. Instead of being anxious, we should be compassionate. Guys have to live in a sex-saturated world, and it's so hard for them to deal with all the temptations out there. We should try to make it easier for them and not distract them even more. Girls think that they should be allowed to wear whatever they want, and that guys just have to deal with it, but they have no idea how hard it is, and since you can't understand someone's sin struggle until you have walked in their shoes, the obvious response is for you to arrange your entire life around trying to make their ambiguous, uncertain circumstances less difficult. The best way to respect your brothers in Christ is to treat them like helpless idiots who cannot control their brain or eyes. Just know that every single one of them has no capacity for self-control, agonize about your clothing in response to this assumption, and thereby glorify God with your beautiful modesty!
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