One thing about growing up is that the more life you experience, the more people you know. This statement is self-evident, but because I never really felt this reality until now, I never gave thought to the concept. As I get older, I realize how my horizons are ever-broadening with the new thoughts and ideas that come along with every relationship (no matter how brief or trivial), and even though leaving childhood behind is sad in ways, there are lots of advantages to growing up. One of them is this increased experience with people: I have now been exposed to many more kinds of people, am always getting more funny stories to tell, and have more general insight into what makes humans tick. I also have more memories of really special people who have impacted me in a meaningful way. Recently, I have been thinking a lot about this, aware that I have been deeply and often unconsciously influenced by the people I chose to respect and admire.
I have always considered my greatest teachers to be my parents, books, certain youth leaders, and more books. However, no matter how isolated I have been during times in my life and no matter how shy I was in my old youth group, I have still in part been shaped by peers. There were some who would be considered negative influences, but because I learned how to deal with difficult people from my contact with them, I benefited. I learned who to never become, figured out ways to cope, and ultimately managed to learn some compassion as well. But there were also those who stood out for being excellent, not for being troublemakers. Even though I often admired them from afar and never had a personal relationship with them, their good character, kindness, and integrity inspired me to be a better person. I owe much to influences who never knew I was paying attention.
In seventh grade, one person my age was so consistently, sincerely themselves that I was inspired to stop trying to conform and disappear; I owe to them my early start in figuring out who I was as an individual.
Another peer's constant service to others was a blessing and encouragement, inspiring me to go out of my way to extend the small courtesies like door-holding with which they were always so faithful.
Someone else was so genuine and kind that they changed my views about upperclassmen and made me realize not everyone that age was a conceited jerk. Twice, they made concerted efforts to reach out to me, and at other times, I simply admired their character and kindness.
Simply by making a point of talking to me every week and acting interested in my life, another older teen helped me start to realize that I was capable of making conversation with people and wasn't a completely boring imposition on everyone.
The actions these and others took were all fairly insignificant in the whole scheme of life, and sometimes they were not even directly related to me, but the fact remains that the way these people lived affected me in a positive way, even without their knowledge. I feel a deep sense of gratitude for the way that godly, generous people have blessed me, and the older I get and the more retrospection I have, the more I realize how much I owe to them. I am so thankful for the ways that they affected my life, simply by being themselves and caring for others.
I have a lot of negative memories associated with my old youth group, but there is much positivity as well, and the bad things only put it in sharper relief. Even years later, I still have rapturously happy memories of awesome people being awesome, and it's inspiring to think about how excited I still get all these years later about how great some guys and girls were. Even though it is all in the past, their influence is still part of who I am, and because of them I am all the more determined to encourage and become a positive influence in the lives of others.
It is easy to feel a sense of discouragement and despair, feeling like there is no possible way you can be a good influence all the time or really bless others in the midst of life's complications. Distractions in our lives can keep us from meaningful acts towards others, but we cannot give into resigned apathy and feel helpless to change anyone; we rarely have a sense of just how much we can mean to another person just by being sincere, kind, and thoughtful in small ways. I did not have to interact frequently with someone in order to be encouraged by them, and nor did they have to set out with a purpose of influencing me. It just naturally happened as part of life, and God used it to create something meaningful in my heart. Now, all these years later, my memories of special people make me want to live well, reminding me how important it is to be the kind of girl who impacts others the way that they have unwittingly influenced me.
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