1. It is completely worth the effort to carry my camera everywhere I go. By always being prepared, I've captured so many great shots and unexpected moments.
2. I have discovered a helpful way to get over insubstantial things. When I'm angry, I'll ask myself, "Will there come a day when this is no longer something you will rant about?" If the answer is yes, as it usually is, I say that since I'll eventually stop caring, I might as well stop right then and save myself the emotional energy.
3. This year, I learned a lot about how to accept suffering even when it isn't a satisfying narrative. I can learn, grow, and honor God even when the circumstances are decidedly uninteresting and will never make a good story.
4. I learned that I can turn Facebook videos off auto-play. This is a total game-changer. Before I get to content I care about, I may still have to scroll past twelve shared videos for recipes no one will ever actually use, but at least they aren't moving while I do so. Thanks to Elizabeth for telling me about this handy feature.
5. By reading more books about storytelling, I learned how to better identify what is and is not working in my fiction. Instead of relying on instinct alone, I have specific language for those ideas and techniques, and that helps me figure out what to do.
6. Partway through the year, I realized that because of college, I can now more concisely and easily express my ideas. It's encouraging to see how practice, regular revision, and feedback have shaped my skills.
7. My best attributes largely arose from the pressures of my most hated circumstances. Those situations were painful, but I can enjoy being the person that they helped create.
8. Due to ever-increasing busyness, I learned how to delay everyday life journaling for extended periods of time. I've started using a bullet journal where I write outlines about each day for me to journal about in the future.
9. Back in March, I learned that I really hate The Phantom of the Opera, even though many of my friends love it. Sorry, guys. This is why I should avoid watching popular classics: I judge them with the depths of my soul while everyone else is reliving their childhoods.
10. Change is the most inevitable thing in the world, and it can be grace. Many times in the past, I confidently asserted in my journals that I would struggle with particular issues until I died. Now, I read those entries knowing that there was an expiration date on my pain, and that it would only take a handful of years before my life changed.
11. I have learned how to better deal with swings in my thoughts and feelings. Faced with uncertainties about myself this summer, I often thought of a new favorite song lyric: "I am a pendulum swinging, still I know You're holding me." It's such a comfort that no matter how my thoughts or feelings change, I am still in God's hands.
12. This year, I've learned more about how to lean into my own painful realities for the good of others. Even though I have tended to feel like I can't be understood, my difficulties make me more empathetic. People used to tell me that I struggled and felt alone so that I could help others in the future who felt similar things. They were right. It wasn't just an irritating platitude!
13. When I read my journals, I clearly see how writing cannot convey the pain of in-the-moment consciousness. This can be such grace. When I reread journals from difficult times, I encounter unpleasant ideas and memories without having to experience it all again, but get to deeply relive all the good parts.
14. I still think of myself as if I'm sixteen, and people think that I look that age, but I'm not. I've realized this partly from reading old journals I wrote at sixteen, but also from reading a current novel. The sixteen-year-old main character had memories of her dad having an iPhone when she was seven. I read that and was like, "NOPE, I'm not sixteen."
15. The process of moving also made me realize how old I am. Packing my books was a sobering experience, because even though I still love most of them, there are many volumes in my collection that I swore I would never grow out of, but really have.
16. My ability to extend unconditional love to myself has grown astronomically this year. My life will keep improving as I speak words of love and hope instead of demanding performance and only extending self-approval when I meet a certain standard. Just as God does, I can give grace to myself instead of feeling like I must take a judgmental role in order to guarantee my growth and progress.
17. I learned how to make peace with change by having realistic expectations. When I don't expect things to impossibly stay the same, I can better adjust and feel greater appreciation for the positive new experiences that come with life changes.
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