16 Things I Learned in 2016

In 2016, I dealt with things that I once would have rather died than faced, struggled with transition, and faced everyday struggles and annoyances, but the year as a whole was full of joy, healing, new adventures, love and companionship, and many fulfilled longings. Here are sixteen important lessons I grew through.

1. "I have learned to kiss the waves that throw me up against the Rock of Ages." I had never encountered this Spurgeon quote before January, but then it was popping up everywhere, and it was just the reminder I needed. Even the most hateful issues are worthwhile if they lead me to experience Christ in a deeper way.

2. Generalized life advice from other people has often not been applicable to me, but accepting my weirdness enables me to move on. It is much better to decide that something is irrelevant to my life than to feel tragically misunderstood or guilty for not being normal.

3. It is possible for even the deepest, most unrelenting feelings to change, and for me to care more about God's kingdom than my personal desires for happiness. 

4. By choosing vulnerability and sharing difficult aspects of my life with loved ones, I have received grace beyond anything I ever imagined and am empowered to extend the same grace to others.

5. I do not need to feel guilty for how health-related setbacks kept me from academically overachieving in high school. The reading, writing, fellowship, and meaningful contemplation I had time to enjoy are far more important than anything on my transcript.

6. Relationships develop through meaningful self-disclosure, so I need to purposefully bring up details about myself when talking with other people, even if I feel like they don't need to know or care. Small talk can lead to deeper relationships, but only if I choose to invest in it.

7. Because my sins are forgiven, I don't have to atone for my wrongdoing or problems by despising them enough. It's all finished.

8. My life experiences, both for good and for ill, shaped the person I am. I used to profoundly resent certain situations in my life, believing that they were unjust and would ruin everything, but now I am grateful for them. I love the person I grew up to be, and I never would have become this if I hadn't been driven to fight for it.

9. I grew in my appreciation for my detailed memory and the seemingly useless, unpleasant things I was never able to forget. As I reevaluated my life, I discovered that I don't want to craft my own preferred life narrative and forget everything else. Even when memories seem like pointless burdens, they are the raw materials necessary to reach new insights and know the truth.

10. People tell me, "You're so logical," but I heard that compliment like a fish would hear, "You're so wet." Thanks to a year of college and various life experiences, I now have a greater appreciation for the training in critical thinking and logic which I received both academically and in casual, everyday life.

11. I can enjoy music styles far outside of my usual taste if it's a musical about American's founding. Shout out to Elizabeth for making me a sanitized copy of the Hamilton soundtrack.

12. I can rewire and reshape my mind according to the activities and thoughts I choose to dwell on. By applying these concepts of brain plasticity, I got past mental coping mechanisms I no longer need and improved my quality of life.

13. I see more clearly now how good influences and resources have shaped my worldview and life choices. I have been led to goodness and truth by forces outside of my own control, and am grateful for the wonderful resources I have encountered, remembered, and called upon in times of struggle.

14. Despite the grief it used to cause me, math can be delightful. I enjoyed taking a math class during our contentious political season, because math is orderly, logical, dependable, and consistent.

15. I no longer need to write fiction in order to comprehend and deal with life. Now that my writing is no longer consumed by self-expression and efforts to cope with life, I am free to focus more on craft and take my writing to the next level.

16. I learned how it feels to accomplish all my goals, get exactly what I want, and then have no idea what to do with my life. It has been glorious to see years of effort culminate in so many seemingly endless quests being fulfilled, but now I feel directionless and uncertain. One of my goals for 2017 is to make the most of my time by focusing on other, smaller things that I neglected while pursuing larger and more significant aims.

2015, 2014, 2013