A Good Name

     Proverbs 21:1 says, "A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold," and I see this clearly in the life of my grandfather.

     My family just got back from our trip to attend his funeral, and for the past several days, I have been thinking ahead to the sort of blog post I would like to write when I got around to it. It is overwhelming to even think of writing a post like this, since there are so many different directions I could take it and so many things I want to say.

     My dad's father, whom we called Papa, was eighty-three, and his health had been declining ever since late 2012. Last year, he was diagnosed with lymphoma, and in the past few months his health took a rapid turn for the worse. On April first, my dad flew up to his parent's house for a final visit, and when it became clear that Papa only would live a few more days, he extended his visit and stayed through the end. Papa died on April ninth, and Dad flew back the next day to help us get ready to travel to the funeral.

     It was very important to me to be there, and I was grateful that we could make the trip. Even though it was sad to go back to where my grandfather had lived and see that he was gone, it was meaningful to be there for the funeral, and I enjoyed seeing other relatives again for the first time in a while. It was a pleasure to catch up on each other's lives, share memories, and laugh over the sweet slideshow of old pictures which one of my cousins put together.

     My favorite photo in the slideshow was that of Papa wearing an unkempt black wig and playing an air guitar. About ten years ago, when my sister and I were playing with him outside, we had our two dress-up wigs with us. Papa sat down on a swing, and when we dropped the black wig on his head, he played right along. Thankfully, somebody was out there with a camera. When I told my cousin what a good job she did on the slideshow, I mentioned how glad I was to see that picture included. She laughed and said, "Yeah, I got questioned a lot on that one, but I thought it was a side of Papa that people needed to see."

     I agree wholeheartedly. Papa was a gentle, kind, and loving man who would let his granddaughters put his hair in barrettes and would play along with an air guitar when they put a wig on his head. He really loved us, and I am thankful for the way that he has influenced my life. Even though my family has always lived far away, I have multitudes of great memories from our visits and am thankful for all the years we did have together. My grandfather was a special man, and even though I will miss him, I am completely confident that he knew God and that I will see him again one day.

     At the funeral, I enjoyed hearing more about his life and learning ways that he was a blessing to others. He was the sort of man who was always helping somebody, and he especially liked to assist with building projects and home repair. All of his children and grandchildren have stories about what he came and did for their house or apartment, and even those who were not part of his family were touched by his generous spirit and willingness to serve. When Papa did anything, he did it well, and his diligent, faithful life has left an example for others to follow.

     My grandfather was a good man, and in a culture with broken families and absent or abusive fathers, Papa loved his wife and cared for his children in a way that honored God and shaped lives through generations. He was diligent and successful at work, but the choices he made through the years clearly show that family was his true priority. He and my grandmother were married for sixty-two years, and they really loved each other. Lasting romances are rare, but even in our jaded, fractured world, it is possible for a man and a woman to love each other for life.

     Whenever someone dies, people say nice things about them, and with Papa, it was obvious that no one was stretching for generic statements. Anyone who knew him at all had some story about a kindness expressed, or an aspect of him they appreciated. Although he would not want us to idealize his life, there is no denying that he was an exceptional man, and I am grateful for the example of faithful service he set. I am reaping the generational impact of the way he emphasized family and the way he raised his children. I owe so much to my grandfather, and there are not even words to say which will rightly express the deep sense of gratitude I feel for the choices he made and the way he loved us.

     During the funeral service, the pastor shared what a unique blessing it was to talk to a dying man who was satisfied with his life and ready to go home. When the pastor asked Papa about his greatest disappointment, instead of being consumed with regret and anxiety about his past, he answered, "I always thought I would be around to take care of her." He did not have to be concerned for how he treated his wife in the past, but was just sorry that he could not care for her more.

     Likewise, when my uncle asked Papa about his greatest regret, he answered that he wished he had purchased a nicer clarinet for his daughter when she was in school. How many other men, when looking back over their lives, could only regret the quality of the musical instruments they provided for their children? She assured him that she did just fine with what she had, and we can all be grateful that he lived such a good life that he need not regret anything greater.

     More importantly, regardless of how Papa lived and what choices he made for his family, we know that he was saved. My grandfather lived a long, productive, and happy life, and instead of grieving its end, I can rejoice that he now has something better. Death is not the end of the story. It may be the natural course of existence, but God bursts into nature and redeems us, promising us resurrection and life at the end of all things.

     Heaven is not just an abstract concept used to comfort the family members of those who lived a good life, but is a magnificent reality through which God intends to bless us with the fullness of His glory. Even in the beauty of our earthly lives, we ache for something altogether more beautiful, and in eternity we finally find that for which we were truly made. The world is broken and scarred, but God will redeem all of creation, turning the death's curse into the gateway for eternal joy.