Monday, March 31, 2014

April Fools! (Part One)

     I have never been a prankster. Ever since I was a young child, I have been too concerned about other people's feelings, potential property damage, and not making other people mad at me to ever do anything risky, and as a result, I have only done two and a half real April Fool's pranks in my lifetime. This year, I considered writing some kind of prank blog post, but could not think of anything appropriate, so I concluded that I ought to simply regale you with the stories of my past experiences. (Note: I got permission from my siblings this morning to share the following story.)
 
Four years ago, I came across a lovely idea in a children's magazine: on April first, switch out breakfast cereal bags so that when someone picks up their usual box, something entirely different pours out into their bowl.
 
When the day came, I had no motivation to get out of bed, but once I remembered what day it was, I rushed downstairs. I got my mom's permission to switch out the cereal, since she agreed that it was a harmless prank, and I did the deed while my siblings were watching "Mary Poppins" in the living room. My brother was the first to come to the kitchen, where he asked for peanut butter Puffins, one of our various health-food cereals. Mom said that he could have them, but after she got out the box, she hesitated and said, "Today, you may have honey rice Puffins!" This was his favorite cereal, but because of its higher sugar content, he only got it as an occasional treat.
 
"Yeah!" he cheered, and then he asked to have the two cereals mixed.
 
Usually, Mom would have corrected him for not saying please, but on this occasion, she just said yes, opening the honey rice box and dumping our Cheerio substitute into his bowl. One piece bounced out, and he was about to eat it when he realized what it was. He looked at the bowl, then at the box, and finally up at Mom, beginning to glower.
 
She asked him if he did indeed want peanut butter puffins added to the bowl, and he responded that no, it was all a trick. Unheeding, she poured out cinnamon Puffins, his least favorite, and that was the last straw. Absolutely furious, my brother had a complete meltdown, and I looked on in astonishment as he lost self-control.
 
"Stop! Stop!" Mom cried. "What day do you think this is?"
 
"April Fools," he said through gritted teeth.
 
For the next few minutes, Mom talked to him about the appropriate way to respond to innocent practical jokes, and tried to get him out of his outrageously livid mindset. In the end, she told him that he could have the cereal he wanted, and that since none of it was wasted, it was really all okay. Unfortunately, he was so angry about getting pranked that he was unable to recognize this.
 
Right around this time, my little sister showed up at the table, and since she had no idea what was going on, she just sat at the table patiently and waited to be served.
 
My brother  petulantly whined in my direction, "It would have been better if you'd said, 'we're going to the state fair tomorrow.'"
 
"But that isn't funny," I objected. "It would be a lie, and besides, the state fair is in October."
 
Mom added, "And telling an untruth like that could get someone really disappointed, even more disappointed than they would be if you poured them the wrong cereal."
 
While my brother was still pridefully seething and my mom was talking to him, I approached my sister and asked what she usually had for breakfast. Upon confirming that she ate the Cheerio-like cereal, I got out the box and dumped honey rice Puffins into her bowl. She looked down at the bowl and then up at the box, her expression of surprise turning into sheer alarm. Her eyes filled with tears, and Mom had to talk to her and assure her that she would get the right cereal in the end.
 
Once that whole ordeal was over, I had long since finished my own breakfast, and went upstairs. As I departed, my brother was trying to come up with a trick to play on me. "All I can think to do is put a mousetrap in her shoe, but that won't work," he complained.
 
The End

(Since this post has been quite long enough already, I shall follow up tomorrow with the other one and a half pranks.)

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