As 2013 winds down to a close, I have been doing my annual reflection about all that has happened and what I have learned. This year was a very significant one for me in spiritual and personal growth, and as I realized how much I have to say about this topic, I concluded that I ought to write a blog post about it.
1. Even when I am sick and don't feel like doing anything, it is still possible to manage my time well. My New Year's resolution last year was to get better at managing my time, and even though I still have a long way to go, I have definitely succeeded in that endeavor.
2. There will always be depravity and evil in the world, but just because I cannot ignore it does not mean I must limit my focus to only that. There are people who are different, and instead of feeling cynical about the darkness, I can thank God for the work He has done in certain lives.
3. Not everything is my fault. Getting "the log out of your own eye first" does not necessarily entail taking the blame for everything. Just because I respond badly to another's sin does not mean that I am responsible for the entire scenario.
4. When I feel uncomfortable about a person or a situation, there is probably a good reason. I can take intuitive feelings seriously, even when I do not yet have proof. It would be wrong to never give anyone the benefit of the doubt, but it is also wrong to ignore a serious inclination that something is amiss.
5. Because I am someone who dislikes public conflict and is quiet in group settings, I have a unique power to stand up to bullies. In general, it is necessary to keep self-control, but there are times to stand up and shock people. (Also, despite my beliefs to the contrary, I do have the ability to come up with biting, witty retorts under pressure. I will be proud of those moments forevermore.)
6. When I am upset about something significant, I need to take my own advice and talk to my parents. Helpful friends are wonderful blessings, but their involvement cannot override the need to discuss an issue with the authorities God has placed in my life.
7. There are times when I must simply choose not to think about something which upsets me. If I can gain something by analyzing my emotions, that's great, but if my contemplation will only give rise to an hour of self-pity and tears, it is much better to close off the trouble and carry on with my life, not allowing that one issue to spoil everything else.
8. When I tell myself that I will be always misunderstood, isolated, and alone, it is a lie. Not only that, but God is willing to provide someone in my time of need to prove that to me.
9. Sometimes, I need to be abjectly miserable in order to get rid of my idolatry and to cling to Christ in new ways. Also, even when I am miserable, God will still provide tangible goodness and grace which I do not deserve, providing for me exactly who and what I need to get me through my difficulty and to see His hand guiding it.
10. God can grow me through friendships just as well as He could grow me without them, and I was wrong all those years to think that my sanctification required never experiencing the kinds of deep bonds which I now have with others.
11. When I truly understand the gospel, it is possible for me to let go of major grievances and to forgive people in a sincere way. God is greater than my hurt, God's sense of justice is infinitely larger than mine, and it is His role to avenge or to blot out another's transgressions. I can rest in His grace and sovereignty instead of desperately wanting someone else to suffer for what they have done.
12. Being a bridesmaid is a lot of fun, and there's nothing quite so surreal as seeing a childhood friend get married.
13. That last lesson is the only one on the entire list that was pain-free, and it makes such a contrast that I nearly took it out. Of the different circumstances alluded to here, the more difficult they were, the more I gained out of them. The most life-changing lessons come out of the greatest suffering, regardless whether I learn them in the midst of the struggle or when reaping the benefits of an ended trial. Those things I would never wish to experience have often brought me deep blessings in the end, and even when they do not, they leave behind lessons of far greater value than my earlier comfort.
3. Not everything is my fault. Getting "the log out of your own eye first" does not necessarily entail taking the blame for everything. Just because I respond badly to another's sin does not mean that I am responsible for the entire scenario.
4. When I feel uncomfortable about a person or a situation, there is probably a good reason. I can take intuitive feelings seriously, even when I do not yet have proof. It would be wrong to never give anyone the benefit of the doubt, but it is also wrong to ignore a serious inclination that something is amiss.
5. Because I am someone who dislikes public conflict and is quiet in group settings, I have a unique power to stand up to bullies. In general, it is necessary to keep self-control, but there are times to stand up and shock people. (Also, despite my beliefs to the contrary, I do have the ability to come up with biting, witty retorts under pressure. I will be proud of those moments forevermore.)
6. When I am upset about something significant, I need to take my own advice and talk to my parents. Helpful friends are wonderful blessings, but their involvement cannot override the need to discuss an issue with the authorities God has placed in my life.
7. There are times when I must simply choose not to think about something which upsets me. If I can gain something by analyzing my emotions, that's great, but if my contemplation will only give rise to an hour of self-pity and tears, it is much better to close off the trouble and carry on with my life, not allowing that one issue to spoil everything else.
8. When I tell myself that I will be always misunderstood, isolated, and alone, it is a lie. Not only that, but God is willing to provide someone in my time of need to prove that to me.
9. Sometimes, I need to be abjectly miserable in order to get rid of my idolatry and to cling to Christ in new ways. Also, even when I am miserable, God will still provide tangible goodness and grace which I do not deserve, providing for me exactly who and what I need to get me through my difficulty and to see His hand guiding it.
10. God can grow me through friendships just as well as He could grow me without them, and I was wrong all those years to think that my sanctification required never experiencing the kinds of deep bonds which I now have with others.
11. When I truly understand the gospel, it is possible for me to let go of major grievances and to forgive people in a sincere way. God is greater than my hurt, God's sense of justice is infinitely larger than mine, and it is His role to avenge or to blot out another's transgressions. I can rest in His grace and sovereignty instead of desperately wanting someone else to suffer for what they have done.
12. Being a bridesmaid is a lot of fun, and there's nothing quite so surreal as seeing a childhood friend get married.
13. That last lesson is the only one on the entire list that was pain-free, and it makes such a contrast that I nearly took it out. Of the different circumstances alluded to here, the more difficult they were, the more I gained out of them. The most life-changing lessons come out of the greatest suffering, regardless whether I learn them in the midst of the struggle or when reaping the benefits of an ended trial. Those things I would never wish to experience have often brought me deep blessings in the end, and even when they do not, they leave behind lessons of far greater value than my earlier comfort.
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